The World in an Upheaval at the Death of Paul

What is with all this Paul the Octopus this and that? When the Paul the octopus rave started, I did not join the bandwagon. No, I was not trying to prove any point, I am just not a soccer/football fan, hence, I do not generally identify with things associated with it (except my man, of course!) In fact, I always thought the Paul the octopus was actually a human who wore an octopus costume, I was that ignorant (you can blame it on the Facebook application that has a human in an octopus costume to iconize “Paul the octopus”).So imagine my surprise when my yahoo homepage tells me today that Paul the octopus is dead. I could care less actually, but, since I thought it was a human, I proceeded to read the story and find out what happened to him/it.

My people, my jaw dropped, came up, dropped and came up severally. Like seriously, these people actually dedicated time and energy and talent in writing up an article this long for an……octopus?! Guess what, it was even given “human” attributes. For instance,

·         Paul the octopus is English by citizenship/nationality (***Big Grin***I did not know that!)

·         He died of natural causes, though many people feel an autopsy should be done. After all, it is very possible that he was murdered. He was only 2 and half year sold for heaven’s sake! What two year old dies of natural causes after a few months of fame? (Apparently, Paul the octopus, duh!)

·         He was extremely popular and had friends both home and abroad.

·         Did I mention that he was appointed the ambassador to English’s bid to host the 2018 World Cup? (Now, I second that he must have been murdered, otherwise, how could they project that far into the future for him in octopus years…sorry, I forgot we were humanizing him!)

The hilarious parts of it are:

Ø  The Gaelic people do not care if he is turned into humus for the soil or cremated or buried with Winston Churchil, they want to know much a plate of Paul with beer will cost!.....(sounds like my Naija people, during the shark-on-the-Lagos-beach-era)

Ø  Some of the commentators/ commenters/commentees,(get the idea?) remarked on how touching the write-up was and how they cried………***double take*** how they cried?.....Somebody pinch me, but were these people actually referring to the death of Paul the Octopus or did they “mis-post” the comments?

To think I made this story up? Check out for yourself~~~~

http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/news?slug=ap-paultheoctopusdeath

PS: Please, if you know any Gaelic person, tell him/her that I am a major shareholder in the remains of Paul. Kindly give the person my email address to contact me for that plate of Paul and beer. Make una no worry, I go shower the blessings for your end.

Remember to smile often today; it takes less effort than frowning!

My Mother ,Randomness and I

I am sure this is an African Mother-plague. My mother comes up with the most random comments/ speeches, at the most random times. Do not get me wrong, I daren’t imply that she is not in tune with what she is saying. I just find her way of thinking extremely fascinating.  Picture a mother daughter shopping/bonding session. I, against my better judgment, decided to accompany my mother on a shopping mission this one time in lower Manhattan, NY. On getting to this warehouse-looking store, we were looking around and picking up items. In my mind, I was gleefully plotting how to pick up my school supplies and wittingly making my mum pay for it. I had just picked up a pack of Always when my eyes strayed to the box of tampons. Bush girl that I am, I had never used a tampon before and boy, do I hate all the mess that comes with the sanitary towels. Let me not gross you any further. I decide d(again against my better judgment) to engage my mother in a discussion of how this tampoon works. The conversation went thus:

Me: Ma, how does this tampon thing sef work? I have never used one before and I am curious about it

Mum: Well, It works pretty well. You have to be very careful though ‘cos sometimes, it messes up with things..

Me:…***confused look***

Mum:  ….and it….wait a minute…are you a virgin?

(oh did I mention that the store had like five attendants, one of whom was some Arabian/Italian/Lebanese/greek –looking specimen of a man, who had been tailing me all over the aisles and making suggestions on what to pick…and of course, my mum was not discussing about NASA, so my store-crush who was within earshot, was privy to this question.+ we were the only shoppers at this time)

Me:…***you’ve gotta be friggin’ kidding me, did she just ask me that?!!?!!!***…MOOOOOOOOM!!!! What was that?...where is that coming from?...

(***because I asked for information about tampons? **Somebody hit me on my lungs!!!**… I should have just gagged myself and stuck to my original plans of plotting on how to squeeze out a few dollars from her!)

Mum:….shame on u!

Me:…**blank stare**…

Like, I did not even supply her with an answer yet and she was there just bestowing non-colorful words on me. In that case, I kukuma exercised my right and pled the fifth, i.e., my right to remain silent.

A couple of days ago, my sister, my brother, ma and I were having a wonderful Skype moment. Guess who got jokes? Heck yeah, you bet right. We were discussing babies and some other non-related subject when Ma said, “Eyin omo yi, e o gbodo ya tattoo si ara o?” (You kids, you must not get tattoos on your bodies). Trust my sister and I, in unison, we went “Kilode?” (Why?). To which she replied, “Mi o like e” (I don’t like it). Meanwhile, my brother is laughing his ass off at the abruptness of her remark. Only my mother would make such a remark at such a time, in the middle of such discussion we were having, haba! Me, being the self-acclaimed goat in the house, took it upon myself to irk her, so I said, “Well, emi fe tattoo o, oju ara ni mo de ti fee” ( well, I want a tattoo, and I want it on my privates). As if in sync with the network, I lost my wireless connection, though not before I heard her mumbling and grumbling and what-not, and my other siblings having a laugh at her/our expense. While talking to my sister later that day, she told me of how my mum said I need psychological help………

Please, if you know my Ma, help me tell her to stop her fasting for divine intervention on this tattoo matter, me I was just joking o! Plus, as superwomany as I am, intentionally tabling myself for prodding and poking of that type has no appeal to me…………………………………….yet.

BTW, does anyone know how to get MS word to type in Yoruba?

Facebook Decorum

    Uhm... I am not about to launch into how much havoc facebook has wrecked or  how many relationships it has built. The koko of my confusions lies more in the "social codes" of facebook. The other day, I was on my own jeje. This person sent me a friend's request. I saw that we had mutual friends and I thought, "I am not too sure if I don't know this person, let me accept and then check out the pictures". Needless to say that got me in more wahala than I bargained for. So I added ma guy o and totally forgot about this transaction. A few days ago, I am online ( which I rarely ever am) and so is this dude. He goes "Hi" and I go "Hello". Trust me...kiakia, I jumped on his profile to know wot's up. Lo and behold, I see a comment that says something about Dude getting married secretly...(well, maybe not secretly, but definitely without this person's knowlegde sha)... I decide to call upon my Sherlock Holmes impression and went on to older posts. At least, if you are an avid FBer and are getting married, there will sha be some tell tale signs?..lailai... not for dude..Walahi, I searched and searched , I no find.
    Anyway, dude wants to strike a conversation with me. It is my polite day so I decide to be courteous. He then says he would not mind knowing more about me and that gets me wondering......Where is the charm? Se even if you want to get fresh with me, na the first time wey me and chat na hin I go give you a full Bio without much goading. So me I just say, sorry o, I don't roll that way. Dudes says so "why then did you accept the friend request?".Chei! still polite, I answer, saying "I dont think it is too late to remedy that." Guy finish me!!!! Counters me by saying "It will be my pleasure." And before I can say Jack Robinson, I see the prompt "Add as Friend" on his profile. I guess you are confused now, considering that Guy was not even rude to me. I just wonder,human beings sha! Friend from somethng somethng years ago, if I dont accept your friend request (cos I cant recollect the face),please, dont be upset o. Just send me a message becos Dude has put me off accepting some friend requests............................###justsaying###

Testing 1,2.....3

***Singing*** Introducing, to you now, HoneyDame!!!!
I must say I find this extremely errmm... disconcerting. You ask me why? I have had friends who blog and have made a solemn promise to read their blogs once in while (whenever I can afford to), without having one myself. I bet you are wondering who forced me, my people, ko kuku si anybody to force mi o ( nobody forced me), the blogbug has finally caught up with me, bitten me and overtaken me.
Ok... a few facts, some fun, some not...I am a student.. I am a warm-blooded-drop-alive-gorgeous-heterosexual-naija-chic. I am definitely not your average blogger, becos I come here,not with some pre-conceived idea of what this will be about. However, it is a promise, my life is evry eventful. I am very sure things will definitely be coming up once in a while. That said, letz get this show on the road....