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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

This Is My Story 1


Let me recount my experiences.

Bright (well, not so bright) and early on the morning of the 26th, I went out with my sister, friend and her mum to do some last minute shopping since I had scheduled to fly to Naija-My-Naija the following afternoon. Little did I know!

After a couple hours of the shopping, na so this snow start. I had heard some murmurs about a snow storm, but for whatever reasons, I had not paid attention to it. I was to receive the dividend of that nonchalance for the following few days. Poco ~a~poco, the snow that had fallen on the ground started getting high. We decided to call it a day and return home, to my friend’s house (for it is some sort of second home to us). Our flight was for around 4pm the following day and we had already packed, so we figured we could return home to add the finishing touches in the early AM. Boy, did I figure wrong!

Meanwhile, my friend (same friend who went out with us……let’s call her Iroko :) ) was supposed to have left for Naija the previous day. But, her flight had been cancelled because she had a stopover in Ivory Coast, and on that day, it was a massacre there owing to political mayhem. I had teased her all day about how get there on Tuesday and call her to give her weather report. Again, little did I know!  *Shakes head in…desolation?*

Anyway, we got home (to Iroko’s place) and just lazed around-making jokes, surfing the internet, napping and eating. I can’t remember which of us decided to take a peek outside. Oh, I think it was I! Thank God for good shock absorbers and correct skeletal system. The sight that greeting me was not anything I wanted to see at all. It was suicidal!!!

 HoneyDames and HoneyDudes, I could not see any ground, anywhere. It was all WHITE!!! No, not paint…….horrible, nasty, silly SNOW!!!

If you know anything about Nigerians, you would be cognizant of the fact that one of their mantras is “E go better”. My people, I sing am tire…..if I had recited that well in my elementary school, maybe I would have obtained a PhD by now. Maka y! See consolatory and encouraging sentences and stories flying all over the place!

You want to guess what happened next?
Well, I doubt if you guessed right but trust Gbeske, she came calling (You remember her? Refer to my post titled “Happily Ever After”).

Of course, YY got to bear the brunt of her arrival. When Iroko’s flight had been cancelled, I had jokingly told YY that mine had been as well. Omo, Boy was not Smiling. The guy vex die! So you can only imagine how long it took for me to convince him that I wasn’t joking about the snow storm and the possibility of my flight being cancelled as well.

So Gbeske went on rampage and started telling YY about how she felt that her flight had been cancelled and how she would not be able to get on another flight and how it was too expensive to get another ticket and how HoneyDame and YY would have to break up for lack of physical contact in so many years (hey, get your mind outta the gutter, I am not talking about THAT type of contact….buh now that you have put the thought in my head, well then, that too…J…**shrug**) and blah blah blah. My dear YY, *bless his South South soul *, told me exactly the things I wanted to hear. You know, the usual usual… “hey, you are still coming home swits,” “ +it doesn’t matter if you come home or not, we are still making this work,”……yada yada yada….you get the picture, se?
All these while, while I was busy freaking out and dishing it to my dear Yori Yori, my sister, who we were to embark on the journey together, just couldn’t be bothered. Let me give you a little heads up on us.

You see, I am the sort-of-short-fused-one. I do not mean in temper o, but rather in freaking out when things don’t go my way. My sister (shall we name her Ngor?) is one of the most laid back people you can ever meet in your whole life!!! Is it annoying? Heck yes it is. But we complement each other well. Picture this:

Me: Ngor, you need to rouse yourself from that sleep, the socket blew and I fear the house might burn down so let’s get outta here.
Ngor: **while scratching at her chin or face or whatever** ehnehn (in a “oh really” tone)? Ok, when it begins to burn, we’ll go.
Me: *I decide to let her win this*
Me: Ngor, the house has started burning, please let’s go!
Ngor: ehnehn? Ok, but it hasn’t gotten to the room yet. Don’t worry, it won’t get to the room.*Turns to the other side to continue with sleep*

Like seriously?...***with an incredulous look on my face**

Ok, that was just FYE (For Your Entertainment). It isn’t really like that, but it is close enough.

I digressed, back to the gist. All these while, Ngor was either taking a nap or eating or just thinking that all was well with the world and that life is beautiful! She just couldn’t be bothered. Once in a while, she would speak up and say something about her sureness about flying out to Naija at some point, snow storm or not.

For me, I shuttled between the JFK website and the website of the airline I was to board. I was looking all over the place for information concerning the flight. The newsmen heightened my trepidation when they said (though not verbatim) that “we ain seen no’ng yet.” The snow was predicted to get higher still!! I suddenly became very interested in the news just to get more info about the situation.

Double WAHALA for Dead Body……..CNN/NSBC/BBC/whatever-else-there-is: JFK is closed until further notice.
Further gini?

Men and Gentleladies, we passed the night there, not sure if our Naija trip had just been dissolved or not.


……………………………………………………………We are nothing but pencils in the hands of the creator………..the story continues……………………………………………



In a lighter mood: The girl was feeling quite pleased with herself for no apparent reason. She figured it had to do the fact that it was her first day in school that semester. After her first class, someone walked up to her and after stuttering for a few seconds, told her that she had something on her pants. Looking down, the girl realized that she still had the size tag on the pants (you know, the sticky one that runs about 5inches vertically along one leg). By then, everyone who she had met on her 20min walk from her room to the class probably knew what her pants/trouser size was. How embarrassing! Especially in a culture where sizes 4,5,6 were regarded normal, and her 14 was considered quite obese……

Again, Gentleladies and Men, that girl was Yours Truly, and the day was today. So go ahead and have a laugh @ my expense. After all, I had to laugh at myself too.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Testing Testing


*Sweeping hand gesture*…..With an acute feeling of misery, tender-heartedness and mad love-drunkeness, I reluctantly announce my arrival back to this “gaddamn” country where my heart so doesn’t belong right now.

Ok, let me shed a bit of my emotional baggage and stop being a “beyatch”. I am back Blogsville. As you may have already surmised, it was all that and lots more. I didn’t see all the people I planned on seeing but I did get a smoother adventure than I envisaged.

I have looooooooooooooooooots of gist for you, but first things first. Thank you so much for still dropping by in my absence and even during my MIA/incommunicado days. I am highly overgasted and flabberwhelmed with the nominations and I am running to all I am highly overgasted and flabberwhelmed with the nominations and I am running (in the literal sense o) to all your blogs to do the needful.

I will be back with all my naija gist so DON’T TOUCH THE DIAL…(wait, isn’t that supposed to be for t.v stations?.........whatever, shall come back sha) :)