So you see, while I am still waiting on my muse, I have
decided to regale you and bring you up-to-date on the events in my life in the
past few months. This shouldn’t take long, I mean, it has been that uneventful.
Take 1: NYSC
I decided that I might as well make myself useful while I am
around here. I am quite restless by nature so NYSC was a laudable idea for me,
I mean, why postpone the evil day? I had been checking up on their website
since around April, just so I could remain informed and be sure to take every
important document away with me from NY. On getting here, I even went to the
Ibadan and Lagos Secretariats to verify the validity of my documents. My
diploma hadn’t been mailed to me as at the time I left NY, but I had my “Letter
of Attestation” and this was supposed to suffice, according to the NYSC
website. Armed with all these documents and a large dose of confidence (having
had the said documents checked out by the 2 secretariats), I went off to Abuja.
8am on that great Tuesday, I was by the NYSC Maitama office, only to be told
that I’d have to wait till 10am.
No wahala….I waited, signed in…queued……only for me to be
turned back for not having my BA Cert/Diploma. I reiterated to them that the
website made provision for the use of a “Letter of Attestation” in lieu of the
Diploma. I was then told that the requirements had been changed, less than a
week to my coming to Abuja. I was 10 feelings shy of depression. I was angry,
upset……mad….every name in the book. Who changes requirements in the MIDDLE of
registration?!!! I kept wondering why they could not have waited for the
current registration to end before altering the requirements. So inadvertently,
they made me waste my time and money heading to that place, even after I had
tried to tighten all loose ends on my part. Perhaps catching a glimpse of that
fine fine fine ex-governor. Donald Duke, at the airport, was supposed to make
it worth my while……..SNORT
Take 2: Grandma’s Burial
About a week after I came home in July, my paternal Grandma
died. Frankly, I was emotionless. She
was 84 years old, give or take, so all I thought of was “Oku Amala”. As far as
I was concerned, there was no reason for tears and as a result, I made plenty
fun of my dad when I heard that he cried.
Fast forward to the burial day: It all started with my bro
(who was driving) and I finding ourselves behind the hearse. Those stupid pall
bearers and their stupid heart-tugging songs (sniff). Hearing all those
farewell songs had my tear ducts prepping themselves, but I still sat there
tryna feel gangsta with myself. They set her up outside the church for a short
Lying-in-State. They opened her up and that was it! She was by no definition a
fair-skinned person in her life, but deng! The person I saw in that coffin was
BLACK! and FRAIL and VULNERABLE-LOOKING and very much “UNLIFE-LIKE”. While the
type of embalmment used might have contributed especially to the “unlife-like
look”, I couldn’t help tying it back to nature. He did say from dust we come
and to dust we shall return. The picture I got that day was so literal and lent
credence to that assertion. Grandma really looked like clay…… she really did
(sniff).
From that experience, I can readily advice anyone who is
trying to find an essence to this life to attend a funeral and attempt to see
the corpse. It makes it much much much clearer….. This world is vanity and you
will only be remembered by your deeds, both good and bad. No matter how much
Mary Kay, MAC, Iman, Shiseido etc you invest in, in the end, it won’t even
matter……at all. Ish!!!
The entertainment part was nice though. I was particularly
excited for the “Oju Agbo” (specified dance). I personally handled Ma Petrillo’s
plastic bag (for sprayed money :D). I was definitely on the winning team…:D
On another note, the hustle for party souvenirs is real
yo!!! Whhatttt?!!! I lost count of how many times I said “Whoooosaaa” that day.
People just kept stretching my patience. I don’t understand the need to have
EVERY item of souvenir given. Not to mention those who had like 5 of each.
I have placed an embargo on my household after that
experience. Maternal Grandma has to wait at least 5 years from now before she
kicks the bucket. Siblings also have to wait for at least 4 years before they
talk marriage, unless they have incorporated the money for the event planner.
Yes, Ngor (Not Lady Ngo), my dear sister, it includes you! I am still dealing
with my room smelling of burnt firewood.
*Phew*
I am in search of a marketable certificate course to embark
on. It seems everyone and their dogs are going into Project Management around
here. Kindly suggest other business related courses that you are aware of.
I miss regular blogging and regular blog-hopping…..this
internet sucks major!
Shout out to my new followers. Can’t believe I gained
followers even during my unannounced hiatus. Welcome here, you rock!
Oh, It was my birthday on the 4th, Ma Petrillo's on the 16th and the blogiversary on the 11th (iThink? See? I am losing it!). October sure is a special month.
* all images gotten from google
