I know I know, I deserve to be blocked on blogger and get all those "rewards" that people who make promises and "fail" to deliver get. Thankfully, the end of the internship is just around the corner so there is another solemn promise to pick up my slack once it is over. Plus in my defense, I havent been completely out of loop, I am just one of those anonymouses in your comment boxes.
I am in dire need of therapy. I really really want to rant and this is one of the many times I wish.....oh so wish that YY was very close (in proximity) to me.
Children of Adam and Eve, be very wary of people! I am (was) naturally an unassuming, misunderstandably naive (I am not even going to attempt explaining what that means), quite trusting and generally affable person. I make "friends" quite easily and now it is fast becoming my undoing. I am nowhere close to being perfect....not even 25 yards close, however, I invest a lot into my relationships. I am not a big financial spender but emotionally, I almost run on red.
I just had a 2.5year friendship shattered. The chief culprit is envy (as usual, it is not the person per se, but the "devil" coming in form of the green eyed monster).And you know what makes it hurt even more? The signs were there all along but the unassuming me always found 200+ perspectives for the signs and thus found it easy to accommodate it......*sigh*. I really wish I could pour out exactly what and how it happened but it even too long a story to type.
I am not sure how much this will affect my future disposition, but right now, I am mad enough to ...............*clenching fists*
Just remember this, bi iku ile o pani, t'ode o le pani. (If the death in the house doesn't kill one, the one outside cannot kill one). Again I say, be very wary of people and be critical about the traits you will excuse in the people around you. Also remember that maturity isn't really a function of age. Some people are toddlers+the devil in adult bodies. By virtue of their age, you would expect them to know better. But that really doesn't happen at times. I am done for now.
I promise I shan't make a habit of this. My life isn't usually this (bad) dramatic.
Musings to Self; Breathe....breathe....breathe...."Lord Jesus, I ask that you sustain my enemies and detractors so that they may see the wonderful exploits which You are going to use me and mine for. I ask that you render them powerless over controlling the affairs of my life. I ask that you help me to remain calm in the troubled waters. Seal my lips to things I shouldnt say. Shut my eyes to things I shouldn't see. Cripple my feet to places I shouldn't go. Above all, give me your peace which surpasses all human comprehension." Amen.