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Thursday, August 7, 2014

PSA: The Story of Yoboro

I know....I seemed to be doing better and POOF, off the radar I went again. I have no excuse really. Forgive me and receive me with open arms....ok, maybe one open arm, yet again.

Let me quickly tell you about Yoboro though.

Everyone was out of the house, save for Ma Petrillo and I. As a background, we moved into our current location about 10 years ago, when the area was still more "foresty" than habitable for humans. But over the years, expansion and gentrification have smiled upon our area and the "foresty" days are like folktales. In all those years, we had contended with snakes, scorpions, alligator/some other big lizard, amongst other animals whose habitats we had invaded, but never had we had to contend another human being.

On this unforgettable Sunday morning, I had forced myself to fall asleep around 1am in order to be able to make it in time for a 7am Church service without looking like something the cat dragged in. I woke up around 5:30am to pee and that was when I noticed that a (sliding) window in my room had been open about 5 inches. I rolled this around my mind for a while and when I couldnt rationalize it, I filed it under "perhaps I did this unconsciously". The plan was to head back to bed for another 30 minutes before giving up on the sleep completely. I had barely been back to bed for 5 minutes when I heard Ma Petrillo shouting my name. For a while, she had been sleeping in the living room. According to her, the living room is better aerated.

I was grumbling at the fact that she was waking me up by shouting several feet away from me until she uttered the words which heralded the fear I lived in for weeks after this Sunday; "We have been robbed".
F-I-A-M......sleep cleared from my eyes as I ran to where she was.

Our house had been broken into and raided while WE SLEPT THROUGH THE ORDEAL!!!!
LOL...I laugh about this now, but really...it wasnt even remotely funny. Thankfully, we were both fine. I'd like to regale you with the theatrics involved but the short of the story is that our fence was scaled, sliding nets were torn from outside, burgalry proof was pounded out from outside, and access was gained into the house by so doing.

Bottom line is this, since we are living in Nigeria, we cant be cautious enough! Lock your sliding windows for the night, unplug and stow away handy electronic appliances for the night (tablets, laptops, phones) and most importantly, cover the 4 or 8 or 10 or \infty corners of your house with the BLOOD of JESUS. Because day by day, these people get more and more sophisticated and let's not even discount the use of jazz or chemicals!  I mean, how possible is it that 2 grown adults slept through the pounding out of a burglary proof?!!

Obviously, a lot of things could have gone wrong but thankfully, other than a few items stolen and some psychological and mental confusion left in the wake of the ordeal, nothing else was in jeopardy.

Please dont even get me started on the Nigerian Police Force.

This country is just not it!
We generate or own power supply
our water
pay for our health services........ I dont know precisely what works.

Yet, we dey here, singing "e go better"

I guess as long as there is life, there has to be hope, abi nor be so?

Meanwhile, this post on Nitty's blog is making my leg shake unto this my desire to have twins matter. In all of my thinking of having twins...I had never even given thought to the potty trainning part. I can imagine how hard it will be with just one baby....not to mention 2! Chukwu biko!!!
Since we are still on that matter, biko, how do you breast feed twins. Do you tell the first one "hey, dont suck too much, you need to remain some for your twin"? or do they get the memo from heaven?
Infact, thinking about caring for two babies at a time just gave me a headache.

Wait a minute, people actually birth triplets, and quadruplets and quintuplets!!!!!

Please, I am out of here!

Mothers of multiples, I  want to hear from you!!

Oh, sorry, I forgot to say "Yoboro" is the name we coined for the "skillful" perpetrator of burglary and theft.

And my heart swells for SisiYemmie for being the poster child for LDRs (Long Distance Relationships). God bless your home, darling!


  1. I am so sorry to hear what happened and thankful to GOD that you both slept through the ordeal! Believe me HD, it was better that way,not that I am undermining what happened, it was good you did not witness it. #shudders as I remembered my own experience#

    9JA! When persin neva visit other people's farm, he would say, his papa's farm is the biggest! Nothing like peace of mind and comfort, not necessarily luxury. E go better, my dear. Someday....I believe.

    Always see the humour in things HD! Glad you are laughing over your ordeal, and thanks for the mention. Yes, o, it is work to take care of one child not to talk of multiple birth! I hail women with twins and triplets o! I don't know how they do it, but they sure need help in anyway they get it o. When you have twins, while you are nursing one of them, hubby would be bottle-feeding the other.

    Kpele. Take care. E-HUG.

    1. *Sigh*...Nitty My Gritty, I dont even know what to think of the country anymore. Some days are better than others. Thanks for your comment, God bless you

  2. I used to be one of those who craved twins and then my sister had twins. I have since changed my mind. Don't worry though, i bet Ma Petrillo is up to the task plus, my sis can hook you up with tricks lool. My nieces weren't so bad because one of them really eats but the other doesn't as much. I used to pity my sis when her twins cried for food at the same time though because she did exclusive for 6 months, Yea, she's a hero.

    1. Nne, I dont know why you are here forming brand new, when we already agreed that you are having triplets. *evil cackle*

  3. As in you guys sleep deep o. Thank God they weren't killers. I still want twins sha.

    1. Lol...I dont think you understood me. Ani e be like say them blow something into the air. Granted that me o, once I'm out, I'm out unless when i get up to pee or when my alarm goes off, but Ma Petrillo IS NOT a deep sleeper AT ALL, and that;s why we are strongly of the opinion that they must have blown a chemical or so into the air. We thank God in all sha

  4. Wow.Kpele dear. but thank God you slept through it cos who knows what could have happened if you were awake.*let's not go there* God knows better. I remember when we got robbed in undergrad, my roommates and i got back from class and saw our house empty..empty as in nada not even carpet..
    As for twins i want twins oh..my cousins are so adorable and i was part of the crew taking care of them..still am..the joy of twins is that after that two na veryyyyyy lonngggg break...lol...

    Ps. Nigeria is not a country. It is just a place where people live.

    1. My sister said the same thing. She was happy that we slept through it. She even said if we had woken up, upon seeing the theif, she should have gone back to sleep...LOL, crazy child she is!

  5. Wow! I am so sorry to hear you got robbed. But I am glad that you are doing okay.

    At wanting Twins. Don't have twins except you have help. One baby sef is enough work.

  6. Good thing is you guys are fine.Nigeria is an issue!

  7. eke Halleluya meje! Thank God for life. My mum's sister has twins and they were so cute when they were young. they call them "ejire" lol. Not sure of i want though.

  8. That's scary!!! A coworker just told us that thieves tried to rob them over the weekend, and they desperately tried to get to my coworker - going as far as trying to break the ceiling to climb through into where he was hiding. This country...

    Everyone's been wishing twins on me, and I've always said no (I have twin godchildren), but these days I wonder about it because I could be done and over with childbirth in one go :p


    1. See ehn, those terrorists of the night are getting bolder by the day!
      LMAOO on your thoughts on twins. Very valid!

  9. Thank God you're both safe. Thieves...doubt they've got any conscience whatsoever. as for twins, in pictures and videos they are so cute but in reality (the work bit) like everyone said it's a different story. The work is only for a while though and they'll be all grown and independent. I still love twins though

    1. I still want twins.. I will give one to my mother, the other to my MIL. They should bring them back when they are 7 years old.

  10. My lost comment just disappeared!!! :(

  11. thank God you are safe o and that you guys slept through it.
    this kinda thing happened to me during my service year.
    the thief attached a razor blade to a stick to cut away the net on the window.
    i woke up as the bladed stick slightly missed my face.
    omo if you see the way i froze in fear.
    we just thank God for his mercies.

    i have twins as siblings and i literally raised them. abeg i dont want twins as children.

  12. Jazz at work maybe or God protecting you. Only God knows what would have happened if you guys witnessed it. Thank God you are alive! Twins are just double of one...twice the joy, twice the wahala. Whichever way you look at it, they are still more than adorable. Uniquely different with Fredilia

  13. Blessings...
    the best news from this story is that you are all safe and no one was physically harmed.
    Stay blessed
    Stay safe.

  14. I nominated you for The Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award because you are doing a great job, please accept. Gracias! Uniquely different with Fredilia

  15. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  16. Ah, I see you have gone AWOL again. Not very much unlike some of us. lol!

    It has got to be jazz that keeps a whole household sleeping while robber practically lift the gates off their hinges. That happened to us many years ago and something must have scare the thieves away 'cos they only managed to cart away the VCR.
    Thank God you guys were safe and unharmed.

    I'm with you on the Twins o! It doesn't matter if it will take twice as much energy to care for them. :)

  17. Ha! My twin boys arent as much hard work as they were when they were born and they are just 4months. Trust me when the hard part reduces, you'd love them n be glad you had them...Identical twin however might be tough....

  18. This is Naija... Always expect the unexpected.

    Good luck with the multiple births

  19. Hi HD. Write some new article. Do satire. Just do something. I love reading your articles


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