The Real Problems of
joblesnessness Working from Home.
Whooppeeee!!! NYSC was over in February. Don’t even ask me about it. I wasn’t a model Youth Corp member and everything was just a blur. Bottom line is it’s over. Done and Dusted.
|May or May Not be HD|
Contrary to what I was told….I am not HOT CAKE. I am NOT POPULAR DEMAND. With my “good grades” and “good head”, I have NOT been SNATCHED UP by Deloitte or Addax or KPMG or BAT or Accenture or Phillips or GLO or the likes.
Well well well, unlike some of the bloggers Atilola has been meeting, I’m just another girl from the rapidly-drowning-Nigerian-middle-class with no Uncle or “Unku” in high places. Someone hand me a handkerchief please *sniff sniff*.
The different politics that play out in labour recruitment processes are best left unsaid. Anyway, that‘s not why I am here/blogging this post/posting this blog. Whatever!
While I am deciding on what next to do with my very bright life, I have been
jobless working from home. Y’all know how an idle hand
is the devil’s workshop and all. I have been taking on some small small
projects like that. Let’s discuss some of the problems inherent in this set-up:
Explaining the difference to most family members:
“Ahnahn! HD! You did not make lunch? Nonsense!!! What have you now been doing at home since morning?! Ehnehn? Se you could not put the beans to boil while you were “working” ni? Mchewwwwwww”
“Oh Gooodness! HD!!!! These clothes I spread on the drying line since 8am are still there by 2pm. Are they supposed to get dry like prawn crackers before you fetch them in? Hian!”
“HD my dear, please I forgot the bag where I keep the registers, at home. Please bring them to me at work. I need them. Bring them fast o” …..as per…you don’t kukuma have work.
Biko nu, can’t we just pretend like I am not here?! Ghost mode please!
Everything calls your name – your government name!
From Telemundo (when PHCN lets) to your bed, to oh Lord! the refridgerator to….everything. Need I tell you how many times I have heard the fridge call me while I’m within earshots “HDchukwu/OluwaHD, come hither”….surprisingly, no matter how many times I open it, additional food items do not miraculously appear…so confusing. Oh well!!! *Shrug*
Explaining why you are dressing up/dressed up:
While this hasn’t yet happened to me (probably never will, since I am a placard-carrying nudist in my house), I can imagine that a
“work-at-home-girl” might have some difficulties explaining why she is dressing
up to go to her workstation within the house. See, some of these things are
psychological. One may want to replicate an office setting within the house for
optimal concentration and productivity. One of the ways of replicating the
office setting is by dressing up…….. Can you tell that I didn’t type this point
with a straight face?
Different names, same problems.
Do I need to spell out that working from home requires some great dose of self-discipline?
Of course, there are perks to
joblessness working from home
too, but let’s leave that for another post
I discovered a blog…quite new. I love the way she writes.. like monologues. Thinking about her posts is even making me chuckle. Check her out: Keji of Mo'Rounkeji
Toin asked a question in her last post. While I fear for what I may read in the way of comments, I also wish to ask the same question: “What comes to your mind when you think of me? How do I come off on this blog? Tell me what you think about when you hear/see/read me.” Please, TOIN, SNM and COY are exempt from answering this question.
Sincerely, for me these days, the thought of being a paid housewife isnt as repugnant as it used to be.
*image gotten from google*
Hilarious! I almost choked laughing...Thank you. I needed this because have spent most of my day being ill physically and sick emotionally for my country, Nigeria!ReplyDelete
*Sigh*.....Arent we all? It is just so appalling!Delete
LOL... Really FUnny!!!ReplyDelete
I'm glad you think soDelete
LOL! You are the one and only HoneyDame of life! :-)ReplyDelete
There's always something to look forward too whenever you put up a new post :-) xx
Awww... this made me somehow mushy sha! :*Delete
That "dry like prawn crackers" line has my cracking up over here lol.ReplyDelete
Hmmm, what do i think of HoneyDame as i dey read her blog....that there's an inner wild child that is trying to break lose but HD won't let her come out and play lol.
LMAOOO.......Gotta keep HoneyGoat in check na..Delete
HD,HD...garnished jobless executive. Hmmm. You come off as very unserious about life albeit a good trait in our country. On the other hand, dressing up for homework is actually a good thing for the psyche and it sends a message to the people in your house too.ReplyDelete
P.S I love you
My big sister, Ngor, is this you? Na only you waka come?Delete
I like your sense of humour ...I believe I would not have any dull moment around you and you are down to earth.. no airs .
Awww...Nitty my Gritty....thank you!Delete
You ALWAYS make me smileReplyDelete
I love your executive director title .....LOL
Your current situation reminds me of one time I was at home ...My mum got rid of the househelp and turned me into Executive Housekeeper. My whole day was taken up with planning and cooking one meal after the other.
Chai. Pesin don suffer for this life.
After a while, I learnt how to make lunch and dinner at a go then abscond to my friend's house for the rest of the day..LOL
You wont believe the new househelp started work the same day I left for school
Hope you are well
Lmaoo..That is hilarious! These ones in this house gon learn!!!!! lol. Thanks so much NILDelete
You are such a funny dame.ReplyDelete
I have someone that just got a job last month...no aptitude test..no interview..just 'connection' aka divine favor! Baba God will favor you jare and raise people to help secure a job where credentials and capabilities are discountenanced.
I am vibrating as I am saying a resounding AMEN to this! Thank you so much!Delete
Lol. This is funny. Even I think the option of housewife is looking quite promisingReplyDelete
You know this, Sisi!Delete
HD, you are so hilarious!!! Yous should consider a career in comedy honestly. Don't worry, God is saving the best job for you!ReplyDelete
Iyawo, comedy bawo?! lolDelete
Hahhahaha...I know this feeling...I was once in that in that place...I swear, people just assume you are jobless and will have time to do all the random house work.ReplyDelete
I. JUST. DONT. GERRIT!Delete
Thanks for the shout out! Much love.ReplyDelete
PS, this your post was very funny. That idea of being a housewife is very attractive with the billion things going on in my body. I do hope you get a very good job soon before they exhaust you at home. You just mighht get that KPMG job oh! you never know.
AMen Amen, blessings and glory!Delete
Hahaha, dont worry, 9months will soon be over...(so I heard) thank God he already did the logistics and twin situation doesnt equal to 18months.
HDChukwu, biko, bia. Lekwa the unfair-ness called life. How can somebody disqualify me from answering kweshun? Anyways, the devil is a lair. I will answer this oneReplyDelete
1. Congrats on passing out
2. Who lied and told you you're hot cake? You're more like hot muffin please *offers handkerchief*
3. So, "trouble" is def what mostly comes to mind.
4. I have a feeling you'll be causing the 3rd world war with your ikebe but we shall see.
5. You come across as very personable (can you tell this is the cupcake still working?) #Okbye
Seriously though, making food while "working" at home seems erm....*flees*
See why I gave that order for you not to comment? See?!Delete
What do you mean you don't know people in high places?! What of your adoptive parents?!ReplyDelete
Now, that's what I am talking about!!!!!!! Love you mummy! I am sending my CV over!Delete
And Toin just couldn't pass the test :)
U sef see am?! That's one of the things I have to contend with! Poor HDDelete
You write like a fun loving person, full of witty jokes :)ReplyDelete
Hope you get a job soon.
Awww.. Thanks Myne!Delete
I love love love working from home o, but meeehhhnnn, indiscipline is the greatest temptation. I don't even bother paying for DSTV again sef. So what work exactly are you doing from home sef. Whisper it to me, so I can bring rich blogger clients your way.ReplyDelete
You are absolutely right...indiscipline!.....Ez "gbelepawo"...lol..Marketing, e-Hr....all join!Delete
As someone who currently works from home (some might call this being unemployed, he-he), I understand exactly what you're saying. As in, the seeing-finish is not even beans. They don't get that you have actual work to do; you become the maid slash cook slash messenger.ReplyDelete
Anyway, I choose to look at it as part of the live-at-home-rent-free package, so I just grit my teeth and get on with it.
That is a part I conveniently left out....I am ALL for RENT-FREE-LIVING!!! lolDelete
Lool. My work allows me to work from home sometimes ...but PHCN is the real demon I swear. When I think of you I think mischief...:DReplyDelete
LMAooo. Me? Mischief? When Toin is there?!Delete
This comment has been removed by the author.ReplyDelete
RhapsodyApr 20, 2014, 6:21:00 PMReplyDelete
Blessings and Happy Easter
hmmmmm....what comes to mind? Well totally influenced by the post I'd say a great sense of self and humor struggling to survive and surpass the disappointment at not yet realizing her dream. To that i say. We are many things, have many purposes and it is our responsibility to ensure that we do not allow other peoples opinion of us, what we do and don't do define us.
Just ducked in to wish you a fabulous week
Hmmmmm! This to some extent is true.Delete
Thank you very much Rhapsody
Loool!!! I'm with L.Ngo about that inner wild that's begging to break loose, yet is being straight-jacketed by executive director HD! Hope things work out pretty soon on the job front...well if you haven't entirely switched into #TeamHousewife.ReplyDelete
hahahahahhahaha...gotta keep her in check you know...lolDelete
Girl I've been on this for more than 3 years now and I concentrate on my bed more than on a desk. The thing is people around you/your family have to understand that you need to focus. It's hard but with time they'll get used to seeing you around the house but won't ask you to do anything, even though it'll take time for you as a female. If not maybe you need a real office til you can get your own personal home. And PHCN....you really need a back-up if you want to work from home in this close-to-hopeless country.ReplyDelete
Sigh. This is true! and then the cost of fuel and all...Sigh!Delete
HD. Always crazy. Didn't know you had a blog.ReplyDelete
Being without a job sucks. I was once there but it wasn't so bad. Now, I miss my bed, mum, dada and all.
You seem hot with a big buttt. And I'm jealous.
Bia Ameikpe! u should be flogged!Delete
I like you alot.
Oya leave naija and come find work in this my zone nah
hhahahaha...I like me too! lol I like you too...Why havent you updated now?! Son needs to know that he has to share you with us na!Delete
*giving u a good hug* I totally get. But soon, you will have a wonderful job.ReplyDelete
*Steps into hug* Thanks Lily and Amen!Delete
Amazing write-up, just saw your comment on my blog, would keep coming to yoursReplyDelete
From blog to tweets when I think HD I think some funny, witty , but serious talk is coming up.ReplyDelete
Madam, you are hella funny. I nearly peed my pants reading this post. Adding you to my RSS feeds.ReplyDelete
Amazing. .. I enjoyed the read.ReplyDelete
Worry not, with Time they would learn to take you indoor work serious.
Hey HD, gotten an out of home job yet? Hope your moving back to naij has been good stuff...?ReplyDelete
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