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Monday, October 22, 2012

While We are Waiting

So you see, while I am still waiting on my muse, I have decided to regale you and bring you up-to-date on the events in my life in the past few months. This shouldn’t take long, I mean, it has been that uneventful.

Take 1: NYSC

I decided that I might as well make myself useful while I am around here. I am quite restless by nature so NYSC was a laudable idea for me, I mean, why postpone the evil day? I had been checking up on their website since around April, just so I could remain informed and be sure to take every important document away with me from NY. On getting here, I even went to the Ibadan and Lagos Secretariats to verify the validity of my documents. My diploma hadn’t been mailed to me as at the time I left NY, but I had my “Letter of Attestation” and this was supposed to suffice, according to the NYSC website. Armed with all these documents and a large dose of confidence (having had the said documents checked out by the 2 secretariats), I went off to Abuja. 8am on that great Tuesday, I was by the NYSC Maitama office, only to be told that I’d have to wait till 10am.

No wahala….I waited, signed in…queued……only for me to be turned back for not having my BA Cert/Diploma. I reiterated to them that the website made provision for the use of a “Letter of Attestation” in lieu of the Diploma. I was then told that the requirements had been changed, less than a week to my coming to Abuja. I was 10 feelings shy of depression. I was angry, upset……mad….every name in the book. Who changes requirements in the MIDDLE of registration?!!! I kept wondering why they could not have waited for the current registration to end before altering the requirements. So inadvertently, they made me waste my time and money heading to that place, even after I had tried to tighten all loose ends on my part. Perhaps catching a glimpse of that fine fine fine ex-governor. Donald Duke, at the airport, was supposed to make it worth my while……..SNORT

Take 2: Grandma’s Burial

About a week after I came home in July, my paternal Grandma died. Frankly,  I was emotionless. She was 84 years old, give or take, so all I thought of was “Oku Amala”. As far as I was concerned, there was no reason for tears and as a result, I made plenty fun of my dad when I heard that he cried. 

Fast forward to the burial day: It all started with my bro (who was driving) and I finding ourselves behind the hearse. Those stupid pall bearers and their stupid heart-tugging songs (sniff). Hearing all those farewell songs had my tear ducts prepping themselves, but I still sat there tryna feel gangsta with myself. They set her up outside the church for a short Lying-in-State. They opened her up and that was it! She was by no definition a fair-skinned person in her life, but deng! The person I saw in that coffin was BLACK! and FRAIL and VULNERABLE-LOOKING and very much “UNLIFE-LIKE”. While the type of embalmment used might have contributed especially to the “unlife-like look”, I couldn’t help tying it back to nature. He did say from dust we come and to dust we shall return. The picture I got that day was so literal and lent credence to that assertion. Grandma really looked like clay…… she really did (sniff).

From that experience, I can readily advice anyone who is trying to find an essence to this life to attend a funeral and attempt to see the corpse. It makes it much much much clearer….. This world is vanity and you will only be remembered by your deeds, both good and bad. No matter how much Mary Kay, MAC, Iman, Shiseido etc you invest in, in the end, it won’t even matter……at all. Ish!!!

The entertainment part was nice though. I was particularly excited for the “Oju Agbo” (specified dance). I personally handled Ma Petrillo’s plastic bag (for sprayed money :D). I was definitely on the winning team…:D

On another note, the hustle for party souvenirs is real yo!!! Whhatttt?!!! I lost count of how many times I said “Whoooosaaa” that day. People just kept stretching my patience. I don’t understand the need to have EVERY item of souvenir given. Not to mention those who had like 5 of each.
I have placed an embargo on my household after that experience. Maternal Grandma has to wait at least 5 years from now before she kicks the bucket. Siblings also have to wait for at least 4 years before they talk marriage, unless they have incorporated the money for the event planner. Yes, Ngor (Not Lady Ngo), my dear sister, it includes you! I am still dealing with my room smelling of burnt firewood.


I am in search of a marketable certificate course to embark on. It seems everyone and their dogs are going into Project Management around here. Kindly suggest other business related courses that you are aware of.

I miss regular blogging and regular blog-hopping…..this internet sucks major!

Shout out to my new followers. Can’t believe I gained followers even during my unannounced hiatus. Welcome here, you rock!

Oh, It was my birthday on the 4th, Ma Petrillo's on the 16th and the blogiversary on the 11th (iThink? See? I am losing it!). October sure is a special month.

* all images gotten from google


  1. Na wa for NYSC o, at least start the enforcement with the next batch, what's the rush? Pele jare.

    Accept my condolence on ur grandma's passing. Death sure puts life in perspective.

    What network provider are you using? Maybe you should ask around your area to find out which network performs best there.

  2. NYSC is sure mean.kilode....pele about your Grandma. LOL about the rush for party souvenirs, why would one person have 5, that's ojukokoro.

    Happy gbogbo everything in October oh. it sure is a special month for you.

    Take care

  3. ...Happy belated birthday and blogversary. I miss you here.

  4. She shows up finally...

    Internet can be so crappy yea, I have 3 internet sticks and the best of them still messes up

    Nysc and their many wahalas, eyah!
    So madam HD placed an embargo on her household...lol.

    Happy October celebrations

  5. Ah, she finally shows. So sorry about your grandma but i get death. I get it very well now. It makes everything seem pointless. I was telling a friend how it's easier to have a terminal illness because at least you have a time line. Ok, let me carry my morbidity away from here.

    NYSC ba? Welcome to Nigeria.

    As for the hustle for party souvenirs girl, hi 10! I've seen it too many times. Even the ones given to me, i wana throw away. If you know how many mugs and plates are at home at the moment ehn, you'll tell me to open a retail shop sharply.

    Happy everything *kisses*

    Welcome back. I kinda sorta missed you. Ok, so i missed you here. Big deal :P

  6. nice update... although it was partly about a funeral. Everytime I read a post on nigeria, i feel like I've been there b4... Maybe it's the many movies I watched as a child lol. But either way, welcome back. Hope you get to sort out your NYSC soon...

  7. welcome back girl, you have been missed awww about your grandma, my grandma is still alive i will miss her a lot when she is gone

  8. AHa, I knew it was Naija that had swallowed you up. I thought you were only back for a short stay, ah well, NYSC is a good cause! But how far with changing requirements midway? crazy people. Abi they were expecting to be bribed?

    sorry to hear about your Grandma's passing away. lol@gangsta. I for fear if you no cry.
    Take care alright? and be safe.

  9. Sorry about your grandma, may her soul rest in peace, and may God console your dad and entire family. As for your gangsta? LOL..

    Too bad you went all the way to Abuja before getting to know the rules have changed. But seeing Donald Duke? iLike!

  10. Happy birthday in arrears. I pray your grandmother rests in peace. She don try sha.

  11. Happy everything in arrears.
    Sorry about your Grandma; may her soul RIP. I promised myself never to attend a lying in state again after I saw my very fair pops become very black some yrs ago.

    Don't be unnecessarily stressed over Nysc jare; it somehow always gets sorted.


    Weirdly enough, I missed your blog and thot I should say hello...

    You are right about VANITY plus VANITY its all VANITY, that why i cant stress jor..

    About courses?You should look into industry that are thriving and will like to grow... Social Network??

  13. Ah, she's finally back. Welcome.

    Sorry about the NYSC thing. Trust Naija and our matters.

    And about life being vanity, you're certainly right. Sometimes I get tired and wonder what we are all struggling here for. Sigh.

  14. HUMPH! She is back! *sideeye* to you HD!
    ok! first thing first!..mean 2nd...happy birthday in arrears on all counts.
    Sorry about the loss of your pappy's mother, may her soul rest in peace...84 ehn? It is a life to celebrate, understand why the tears did not come initially...but you can't help it when you saw it face to face...*youthinksayyoustrong* abi?..ehehehhe.
    Souvenirs?! Jeez! i had a taste of that doing my younger sibling wedding..some catered away dozens of it while some didn't have any! It was an experience i learned from..keep it in the car and bring it out small-small.
    NYSC????...seriously, i wish the programme should be scrapped! or people sent to their own local govts....so many lives lost!
    Marketable programme??..hmmm...nothing comes to mind...laughed at everybody and dogs doing project management...it is the trend....just like computer studying was the hot cake then.
    Yeah..the internet sucks big time...WELCOME TO 9JA my dear :D

  15. Sorry about granny's death HD and also pele about NYSC ish, I can only imagine how annoying that must have been.........Happy celebrations in arrears o and welcome back home!

  16. Sorry about your grandma Hun, i can relate to how u felt when the coffin was open. I was in total shock when I saw my dad too after his body had been embalmed. Sorry about the Nysc stress o, that's naija for you, I can imagine how frustrated you were.

    It's good to have you back though I have also been MIA.

  17. Sorry about your grandma.NYSC is useless so i'd say,sorry about that too.

  18. All the networks are the same cos they tell the same old story. I pray your grandma rests peacefully with the Lord, sorry about the loss. First time here and following, would you mind following and adding me?

  19. Wishing you a merry Christmas and happy new year.
    The Lord's blessing be upon you as we walk into 2013.

  20. How are you? Hope you are good? Take care


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