Back in the days, a girl dared not just go into a relationship with a man. It was systematic process. “Boy sees girl → boy finds girl’s friend/acquaintance → acquaintance talks to girl about boy → girl tells acquaintance what she feels about boy → acquaintance goes back to boy to deliver message → acquaintance organizes the first formal meeting between boy and girl (Usually under some tree…lol).”
The process doesn’t end there. Boy makes his intention to court girl known to girl’s parents → Depending on if girl’s parents concede, courting continues → Boy goes back to make his intention to marry girl known → The two families meet → Marriage rites are observed → Several steps closer to “Happily thereafter”
I know my timeline might lack a couple of details plus it is a Yoruba perspective but you get the picture, right? Today, the process has been modified and it is more complicated and confusing than it used to be, what with the influence of western culture.
My people, I am confused. At what point does a girl bring home her boyfriend? When they have just started dating or after ___ days/months/years/lifetimes? More often than not, the girl is closer to her mom, right? So chances are that Mummy knows, but not Daddy. Especially when Mummy is here and Daddy is based there. At what point does daddy have to know then?
Furthermore, boy meets girl, they date and yada yada (all of that good stuff). When is it “right” or shall I say “appropriate” to collect that bended-on-one-knee-then-proposed-ring, before a formal introduction to girl’s family or after? If it is before, isn’t that a bit presumptuous of both boy and girl not to involve their families? Likewise, if it is after, where lays the surprise/giddiness in the bended-on-one-knee-action? You might as well tell me “Ehnehn, now that we have gotten the introduction done, your ring is on the refrigerator, wear it!” or better still, “What ring? What for?!”
I don’t know if it is the culture that complicates this because as far as I am concerned, boy/girl doesn’t bring girl/boy home unless s/he is saying that he/she is the one. If this is the case, how is the relationship supposed to be like before they are both sure of their intentions for each other, an open secret?
Help a sister out, impart your knowledge people!