For the lack of juice in my fridge and because as of now, I am a broke-ass student, I decided to drink the Monster Energy drink that I have been housing for the past 1.5months. I am still up and running and it is almost 4am so my guess is that it is going to be a looong night so I might as well make up for my blogging inconsistency (or at least try..I had just 3 finals to write…yay!!! And what’s more, I got one down already…two more to go..:D. The convenience store in my yeye school has refused to restock since we are at the end of the academic year (which makes sense though I am salty because) that means no Ben and Jerry’s Peanut Butter Cup or Oreo Cookie milkshake for me for the rest of the semester.
I have this Oyinbo (boy) who takes/soon-to-be-took 3 of my four classes with me, was my project partner in one of the classes, sits in front of me in another of the class and has his name right before mine in the roster for all the 3 classes. Needless to say we were around each other for one too many hours this semester and I almost feel like I am double dating. *smirk*. It has been a remarkable experience, you know, with the mental flirting and all *covers face in shame*. And then he is a boy/man in uniform…..marine corps….#ha-holy-spirit-take-control-of-this-temptation#. It is funny because he is definitely not my spec. we
Recall:Burnt Black complexion from this post? Well, now I can easily imagine the other side of that too. Uhm, never say never. Fret not people, it is just a harmless acquaintanceship and I have come to certain realizations too. There are a couple of things about YY that I have been taking for granted. Choi! I have told my Oyinbo friend several times over that I would be pushed to behead him on several occasions if I were ever to date him. Good enough, it is a consensus since his favorite phrase to me is “You make me wanna kill myself”. To which I reply, “Oh, be my guest since it is just a case of suicide. If it were homicide, then, we’ll have a problem”. All in all, it has been a wonderful experience and a learning process because neither of us had had that kind of close relationship with the other race before. I am almost sad to see it dying because……
I am thinking of going to China next semester for an internship. I am excited about the prospect but still a bit terrified because I have never made such move in my whole life. Relocating to the US, I was with my family. So this is very different and a bit “Jesos Chlist”. However, I am looking forward to the sights and sounds and hopefully, I will have so much issues with the food that I will lose about 50 pounds..:). In other words, I am hoping that with the China trip comes the perk of “Bringing Sexy Back”. The program is soo expensive, chei! I know Baba God gat my back sha, though donations and goodwill are welcome. Paypal, money order, western union, every every.
Uhm, what else is to be said o?!!!!
Ehenehn!!! I got sad at some point last week because a “friend” lost her brother. I use “friend” loosely because really, I don’t know much about her, we just attended the same high school. I was very sad and cried out in frustration because the boy was only 24. You can then only imagine my “shall-I –say-more sadness?” when I got to know that he was a sickler (someone with sickle cell anaemia). I know that people die for other reasons too but this particular reason got me thinking.
Sons and daughters of Adam and Eve, why why why do you do these things?
The world is evolving and so should you. Be enlightened and knowledgeable for Christ’s sake. Don’t misunderstand me. My point is this, there is love and there is love. Knowing each other’s medical status is imperative in a budding relationship. I believe in miracles but not in taking extremely selfish risks. So you know you are both AS, right? And you also know that this means you stand a chance of having a child with sickle cell should you copulate, right? But you believe God will turn things around for you so you go ahead and reproduce anyway. This is what I have to say to you, you are being extremely selfish and unfair!
The pain associated with this disease is ugh…Check this out. I know you as the parent will share in it but how about the poor child experiencing it first hand? I understand that this is a sensitive topic but remember that I am referring only to those who do this with prior knowledge (though ignorance is no longer a tenable excuse).
The short of the last "epistical" paragraph is this:
· There is love, but being strong enough to be able to set aside carnal and emotional feelings and put the future into perspective(e.g. in this case), now, that is love.
· Be wise, take risks, but endeavor to make them calculated risks, God no go vex at the effort.
I think I am ready for the darts you might be throwing my way for this reason, so, don’t hold back. Till next time…..
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Hey you. Where do i begin. Loved the opportunity you had to interact withthe other side. You'd never think in the same way again..and thats education enough for anybody.
ReplyDeleteYour school shop is not business minded at all. There's this indian family shop here that has the best muffin on this side of earth. I hate it when they do the same.
ABout sickle cell, well, if he is 24 you an imagine that the awareness isnt as high now as it was then. Nowadays with the influence of church and all (genotype check before marriage) etc, it shouldnt happen. I used to take your high road of attack on the parents, till I encountered my colleague at work. I never knew she was a sickler, and one of those days, I was raging about how parents who gave birth to SS kids should be quartered and etc etc, chic was just looking at me, till she went 'Ginger, I am a child of such parents, and no matter what I suffer I wouldnt wish death on the most wonderful mom in the world'. I have since learnt not to rage about things that can't be changed or shoes that I am not wearing..
Aarghhh, I cant delete earlier comment. pardon the errors like "About sickle cell, well, if he is 24 you can imagine that the awareness wasnt as high then as it is now".....
ReplyDeleteI am first, second, hehehe. Good luck on the exams!
I struggle wit the fact that i'm AS all the time (well not all the time, but it crosses my mind every now again) because realistically most Sub-Saharan Africans and African-Americans are carriers if not sicklers so the odds of meeting/marrying someone who isn't AS or ss are kinda slim. Me and my current S.O. are both AS and while we aren't anywhere near the "marriage and kids" talk its still something we've talked about in general terms and that is in the back of my mind :(
ReplyDeleteI agree, it is somewhat selfish to not take that into account when your dating someone (my parents told me quite early in life that i need to check those kinds of things when i start seriously dating). But what can u do? Its a big gamble you take. On the up side, all of ur kids can be AA or AS. But theirs also the chance that they all can be ss. Its a really tough situation to be in
It a good thing to take steps like the one you wanna take going to China.Meanwhile i don't even know what to say about the AS-AS association.It's very sad when you fall deeply in love with someone and then genotype tears you apart.I have a friend who lost the love of his life to genotype incompatibility and it wasn't funny.I imagined myself in the situation and it wasn't funny.
ReplyDeleteAs an AS, it was one of the criteria for going out! *sue me if you like*...hehehe..i saw first hand a sickler suffer and i refused to put someone through such because of L-O=V-E! ...when the crisis-es would come, LOVE WOULD JUMP,OUT OF THE WINDOW! Ask Euchari Anuobi the actress.
ReplyDeleteA guy once said he could marry out of FAITH...i told him not to tempt thy LORD thy GOD! And i don't mind taking him to the hospital to witness what is 'selfish' attitude would cause!
People coming to give orishirishi testimonies are just being economical with the whole thing o jare....even RCCG request that with HIV, & pregnancy tests beacusse it comes with a lot of palaver that would test someone's faith and trust in GOD...WHICH IS NOT EASY AND VERY TEMPTING.
wao... where do I beging? well, congrats on the CHina thingy, it should be a great experince if you choose to go.
ReplyDeleteLWKMD @ "#ha-holy-spirit-take-control-of-this-temptation#" hahahah....too fuuny.
Okay.. on the matter for ground-AS-AS-SS business...everyone is entitled to an opinion, but I think anyone that has never been in the situation shouldn't speak to it (me included).. I don't think being an AS is a reason to leave someone you love, like seriously... has anyone ever thought of the other million infant fatalities that can affect even a child from the most perfect parents???? like seriously. I know most people say " you choose to not date an AS because it's fate you can control for a child" and i humbly say.."BS" everytime you vaccinate a child, or prep their food... you stand a grave chance of harming them immensely.. yet people still take the risk.
Anyways.. this is running a little long... whatever one chooses to do, it's their business. one can only hope and pray to make the best decision for the unborn.... of which... how are people even sure they will be able to have kids in the first place... AS/SS OR not.
someone very close to me is SS and i have been there a few times whenever he gets sick,i am quoting ibhade o. even if you av been lovers since forever no matter how long,going into marriage is just NONSENSE only if they plan not to have children.
ReplyDeletethe class thing happened to me last sem with my asian friend and i was feeling the exact same way..lol
I remember a couple in my premarital classes who are both AS, when asked how they'd cope, they said they were believing God. Well I say, all the best to them..... but I do agree with most of the comments here,its not easy to watch your child go in and out of hospitals....and there's no such thing as an age when they wld hv out grown crisis cos some of them still die at 40!
ReplyDeleteAbeg o, pple shld open their eyes!
On China, I hope u enjoy it! My friend just back to the US from there and she complained abt the language and food.... but u be gangster so I wont be surprised u'll have fun!
Plus I have a new post *wink*
I disagree with Lady NGO when she says most Sub-Saharan Africans are AS. Actually, there are a lot of AAs now. Just take a list of your Nigerian Friends around you.
ReplyDeleteWhen people see sickers suffering, they will not that of found in that situation, 'Love' will not suffice at all.
Apart AS not marrying each other cos of the risk of giving birth to SS, another reason is so that we would eventually eradicate AS totally.
LMBO...SMH...LOL-ing @ your oyinbo experience! Aww, super duper cute!!! :-)...
ReplyDeleteGoing to China sounds like fun! You should def do it!!!
About the AS situation, it's better for a couple to just part ways...because the children always suffer and sometimes resent their parents for it...it's such a horrific disease...
Sickle cell is not a joke oh. I think we should start asking for genotypes right away heh! 'hi, what do you do? how old are you? what's your genotype?' I think there is a lot of awareness now though (at least comparatively)
ReplyDeleteHave fun in China. I bet it would be a fun and new experience! :D
Adiya
well there is faityh too. i know 2 couples who are both SS and they said @God said to go ahead@ and today they have 4 AA children. As funny as it sounds what you believe in works for you.
ReplyDeleteChina sounds like fun, i think you should go for it. all the best
With a sickle cell crisis, there’s a lot of pain, unbelievable pain. It’s like a jackhammer on your back, basically. Imagine that kind of pain throughout your whole body. Sometimes there’s pain in your joints, in the abdominal area, in your head, in your chest. Sometimes it’s all over at one time.
ReplyDeleteI wish the medical field would take the disease more seriously(they would have if it was a predominantly "white" disease-subject to debate). I’ve had and seen first hand the experiences where they’ve called a sickle patient a ‘drug seeker.’One once said to me when I was working at the ER of one of the local hospitals in the city "It’s as if we’re going to the emergency room once a month or once a week for our drug fix. They treat us atrociously, and I’m just tired of the whole situation"....its really sad.
Aww i'm tired of hhearing so many death stories. People are dying in large numbers, its not even funny anymore :(
ReplyDeletePeople shld check their genotype before marrying, like u said, ignorance isnt a tenable excuse!!
wow, you're going to China for your internship< how cool is that!! i'm so jealous..have fun!
Girrrrrl... **Ghetto accent** Don't be scared o! *Konk Yoruba accent* Grab that China opportunity with both hands. I did a year abroad in Hong Kong and I loved it. I can't believe I'm already speakign of it in past tense- that's how quickly the year has flown by. Experiencing such a different culture is so much better than goign somewhere Western which you are used to. Break the mould, abeg. You have only one life to live.
ReplyDeleteAnd about sickle cell, I feel you... Love is never the only consideration... Let's just hope we never have to make such difficult decisions or face such heart-wrenching consequences...
Look up the blog Adventures in China on Blogger. I just removed her from my page, but she just spent many years in China and she would be a great reasource for you as far as the culture is concerned if you are serious. There is quite a bit of culture shock.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are getting through school ok. Being a student is just a stepping stone into life. Have fun while you are at it. :)
Yes! Yes! Yes!!! to China.
ReplyDeleteChinese food is not all bad joor, I'm sure you'll have fun.
lolzzz @ #ha-holy-spirit-take-control-of-this-temptation#
To have a sickle cell child in this day and age - and in fact over the last 30 years is pretty selfish if the parents are educated. There is no excuse. A course mate of mine died in our final year in UI and this was over two decades ago. I've never forgotten him. He used to sit right beside me and he died just a few days before our final exams. I had to stare at his empty seat. It was very sobering.
ReplyDeleteChina sounds like a good idea but I'm not sure about the weight loss oh. Chinese food is delicious - except if you hate it, of course.
Seriously sha! deciding to get married knowing the consequences but hoping for "the best" is like witchcraft to me! Its not fair what those sufferers go through!!!
ReplyDeleteYeah to China, I have friend studying for her masters there. It is a whole new experience and at least they are used to foreigners unlike my darling own India.
ReplyDeleteSickle Cell cases...I have a cousin is one...most Africans are carriers...very few AAs...yeah, I think it is selfish of educated parents. I have seen the pains my cousin goes through, I see the trauma in my aunt whenever the cousin falls sick...it is terrible i must say.
This sickle cell thing is so sad. And it actually seems like such a small thing when you're dating till you start experiencing it :(
ReplyDeleteYou should go to China if you want, it would be such an experience i bet :)
Adiya
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