Welcome.Ekaabo.Kedu.Merhaba.Akwaaba.Lafia. Bienvenue

>>>quick announcement->Fasten your seat belt..'cos you might be in for a crazy ryde...:)

Monday, April 14, 2014

Stay-at-Home-Executive-Director



The Real Problems of joblesnessness Working from Home.

Whooppeeee!!! NYSC was over in February. Don’t even ask me about it. I wasn’t a model Youth Corp member and everything was just a blur. Bottom line is it’s over. Done and Dusted.

But

May or May Not be HD
Contrary to what I was told….I am not HOT CAKE. I am NOT POPULAR DEMAND. With my “good grades” and “good head”, I have NOT been SNATCHED UP by Deloitte or Addax or KPMG or BAT or Accenture or Phillips or GLO or the likes.

Worrapun?!!


Well well well, unlike some of the bloggers Atilola has been meeting, I’m just another girl from the rapidly-drowning-Nigerian-middle-class with no Uncle or “Unku” in high places. Someone hand me a handkerchief please *sniff sniff*. 

The different politics that play out in labour recruitment processes are best left unsaid. Anyway, that‘s not why I am here/blogging this post/posting this blog. Whatever!

While I am deciding on what next to do with my very bright life, I have been jobless working from home. Y’all know how an idle hand is the devil’s workshop and all. I have been taking on some small small projects like that. Let’s discuss some of the problems inherent in this set-up:

Explaining the difference to most family members:
“Ahnahn! HD! You did not make lunch? Nonsense!!! What have you now been doing at home since morning?! Ehnehn? Se you could not put the beans to boil while you were “working” ni? Mchewwwwwww”

OR

“Oh Gooodness! HD!!!! These clothes I spread on the drying line since 8am are still there by 2pm. Are they supposed to get dry like prawn crackers before you fetch them in? Hian!”

OR

“HD my dear, please I forgot the bag where I keep the registers, at home. Please bring them to me at work. I need them. Bring them fast o” …..as per…you don’t kukuma have work.

Biko nu, can’t we just pretend like I am not here?! Ghost mode please!

Everything calls your name – your government name!
From Telemundo (when PHCN lets) to your bed, to oh Lord! the refridgerator to….everything. Need I tell you how many times I have heard the fridge call me while I’m within earshots “HDchukwu/OluwaHD, come hither”….surprisingly, no matter how many times I open it, additional food items do not miraculously appear…so confusing. Oh well!!! *Shrug*

Explaining why you are dressing up/dressed up:
While this hasn’t yet happened to me (probably never will, since I am a placard-carrying nudist in my house), I can imagine that a jobless “work-at-home-girl” might have some difficulties explaining why she is dressing up to go to her workstation within the house. See, some of these things are psychological. One may want to replicate an office setting within the house for optimal concentration and productivity. One of the ways of replicating the office setting is by dressing up…….. Can you tell that I didn’t type this point with a straight face?

NEPA/PHCN/IBE-something
Different names, same problems.

Do I need to spell out that working from home requires some great dose of self-discipline?

Of course, there are perks to joblessness working from home too, but let’s leave that for another post

I discovered a blog…quite new. I love the way she writes.. like monologues. Thinking about her posts is even making me chuckle. Check her out: Keji of Mo'Rounkeji

Toin asked a question in her last post. While I fear for what I may read in the way of comments, I also wish to ask the same question: “What comes to your mind when you think of me? How do I come off on this blog? Tell me what you think about when you hear/see/read me.” Please, TOIN, SNM and COY are exempt from answering this question.

Sincerely, for me these days, the thought of being a paid housewife isnt as repugnant as it used to be.

*image gotten from google*

59 comments:

  1. Hilarious! I almost choked laughing...Thank you. I needed this because have spent most of my day being ill physically and sick emotionally for my country, Nigeria!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *Sigh*.....Arent we all? It is just so appalling!

      Delete
  2. LOL! You are the one and only HoneyDame of life! :-)
    There's always something to look forward too whenever you put up a new post :-) xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww... this made me somehow mushy sha! :*

      Delete
  3. That "dry like prawn crackers" line has my cracking up over here lol.

    Hmmm, what do i think of HoneyDame as i dey read her blog....that there's an inner wild child that is trying to break lose but HD won't let her come out and play lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAOOO.......Gotta keep HoneyGoat in check na..

      Delete
  4. HD,HD...garnished jobless executive. Hmmm. You come off as very unserious about life albeit a good trait in our country. On the other hand, dressing up for homework is actually a good thing for the psyche and it sends a message to the people in your house too.

    P.S I love you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My big sister, Ngor, is this you? Na only you waka come?

      Delete
  5. CONGRATULATIONS!
    I like your sense of humour ...I believe I would not have any dull moment around you and you are down to earth.. no airs .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww...Nitty my Gritty....thank you!

      Delete
  6. You ALWAYS make me smile
    I love your executive director title .....LOL
    Your current situation reminds me of one time I was at home ...My mum got rid of the househelp and turned me into Executive Housekeeper. My whole day was taken up with planning and cooking one meal after the other.
    Chai. Pesin don suffer for this life.
    After a while, I learnt how to make lunch and dinner at a go then abscond to my friend's house for the rest of the day..LOL
    You wont believe the new househelp started work the same day I left for school
    Hope you are well
    xxxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmaoo..That is hilarious! These ones in this house gon learn!!!!! lol. Thanks so much NIL

      Delete
  7. You are such a funny dame.

    I have someone that just got a job last month...no aptitude test..no interview..just 'connection' aka divine favor! Baba God will favor you jare and raise people to help secure a job where credentials and capabilities are discountenanced.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am vibrating as I am saying a resounding AMEN to this! Thank you so much!

      Delete
  8. Lol. This is funny. Even I think the option of housewife is looking quite promising

    ReplyDelete
  9. HD, you are so hilarious!!! Yous should consider a career in comedy honestly. Don't worry, God is saving the best job for you!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hahhahaha...I know this feeling...I was once in that in that place...I swear, people just assume you are jobless and will have time to do all the random house work.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks for the shout out! Much love.
    PS, this your post was very funny. That idea of being a housewife is very attractive with the billion things going on in my body. I do hope you get a very good job soon before they exhaust you at home. You just mighht get that KPMG job oh! you never know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AMen Amen, blessings and glory!
      Hahaha, dont worry, 9months will soon be over...(so I heard) thank God he already did the logistics and twin situation doesnt equal to 18months.

      Delete
  12. HDChukwu, biko, bia. Lekwa the unfair-ness called life. How can somebody disqualify me from answering kweshun? Anyways, the devil is a lair. I will answer this one
    1. Congrats on passing out
    2. Who lied and told you you're hot cake? You're more like hot muffin please *offers handkerchief*
    3. So, "trouble" is def what mostly comes to mind.
    4. I have a feeling you'll be causing the 3rd world war with your ikebe but we shall see.
    5. You come across as very personable (can you tell this is the cupcake still working?) #Okbye

    Seriously though, making food while "working" at home seems erm....*flees*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See why I gave that order for you not to comment? See?!

      Delete
  13. What do you mean you don't know people in high places?! What of your adoptive parents?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now, that's what I am talking about!!!!!!! Love you mummy! I am sending my CV over!

      Delete
  14. Lol
    And Toin just couldn't pass the test :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. U sef see am?! That's one of the things I have to contend with! Poor HD

      Delete
  15. You write like a fun loving person, full of witty jokes :)

    Hope you get a job soon.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I love love love working from home o, but meeehhhnnn, indiscipline is the greatest temptation. I don't even bother paying for DSTV again sef. So what work exactly are you doing from home sef. Whisper it to me, so I can bring rich blogger clients your way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are absolutely right...indiscipline!.....Ez "gbelepawo"...lol..Marketing, e-Hr....all join!

      Delete
  17. As someone who currently works from home (some might call this being unemployed, he-he), I understand exactly what you're saying. As in, the seeing-finish is not even beans. They don't get that you have actual work to do; you become the maid slash cook slash messenger.

    Anyway, I choose to look at it as part of the live-at-home-rent-free package, so I just grit my teeth and get on with it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a part I conveniently left out....I am ALL for RENT-FREE-LIVING!!! lol

      Delete
  18. Lool. My work allows me to work from home sometimes ...but PHCN is the real demon I swear. When I think of you I think mischief...:D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LMAooo. Me? Mischief? When Toin is there?!

      Delete
  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  20. RhapsodyApr 20, 2014, 6:21:00 PM
    Blessings and Happy Easter

    hmmmmm....what comes to mind? Well totally influenced by the post I'd say a great sense of self and humor struggling to survive and surpass the disappointment at not yet realizing her dream. To that i say. We are many things, have many purposes and it is our responsibility to ensure that we do not allow other peoples opinion of us, what we do and don't do define us.

    peace.
    Rhapsody
    http://rappingonamelody.blogspot.ca/
    http://rappingonamelody.blogspot.ca/p/guestbook.html
    https://plus.google.com/101099217204323189067
    http://www.shelfari.com/rhapsodyphoenix
    http://twitter.com/rhapsodyphoenix
    http://pinterest.com/rhapsodyphoenix/
    https://www.facebook.com/RhapsodyPhoenix
    http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/4a442621/rhapsody-phoenix

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. blessings....
      Just ducked in to wish you a fabulous week

      Delete
    2. Hmmmmm! This to some extent is true.
      Thank you very much Rhapsody

      Delete
  21. Loool!!! I'm with L.Ngo about that inner wild that's begging to break loose, yet is being straight-jacketed by executive director HD! Hope things work out pretty soon on the job front...well if you haven't entirely switched into #TeamHousewife.

    Happy Easter!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahahahhahaha...gotta keep her in check you know...lol

      Delete
  22. Girl I've been on this for more than 3 years now and I concentrate on my bed more than on a desk. The thing is people around you/your family have to understand that you need to focus. It's hard but with time they'll get used to seeing you around the house but won't ask you to do anything, even though it'll take time for you as a female. If not maybe you need a real office til you can get your own personal home. And PHCN....you really need a back-up if you want to work from home in this close-to-hopeless country.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sigh. This is true! and then the cost of fuel and all...Sigh!

      Delete
  23. HD. Always crazy. Didn't know you had a blog.
    Being without a job sucks. I was once there but it wasn't so bad. Now, I miss my bed, mum, dada and all.
    You seem hot with a big buttt. And I'm jealous.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Looooool HoneyDame!!
    I like you alot.
    Oya leave naija and come find work in this my zone nah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hhahahaha...I like me too! lol I like you too...Why havent you updated now?! Son needs to know that he has to share you with us na!

      Delete
  25. *giving u a good hug* I totally get. But soon, you will have a wonderful job.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *Steps into hug* Thanks Lily and Amen!

      Delete
  26. Amazing write-up, just saw your comment on my blog, would keep coming to yours

    ReplyDelete
  27. From blog to tweets when I think HD I think some funny, witty , but serious talk is coming up.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Madam, you are hella funny. I nearly peed my pants reading this post. Adding you to my RSS feeds.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Amazing. .. I enjoyed the read.
    Worry not, with Time they would learn to take you indoor work serious.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hey HD, gotten an out of home job yet? Hope your moving back to naij has been good stuff...?

    ReplyDelete
  31. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  32. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

HoneyDames n Dudes