So you see, while I am still waiting on my muse, I have decided to regale you and bring you up-to-date on the events in my life in the past few months. This shouldn’t take long, I mean, it has been that uneventful.
Take 1: NYSC
I decided that I might as well make myself useful while I am around here. I am quite restless by nature so NYSC was a laudable idea for me, I mean, why postpone the evil day? I had been checking up on their website since around April, just so I could remain informed and be sure to take every important document away with me from NY. On getting here, I even went to the Ibadan and Lagos Secretariats to verify the validity of my documents. My diploma hadn’t been mailed to me as at the time I left NY, but I had my “Letter of Attestation” and this was supposed to suffice, according to the NYSC website. Armed with all these documents and a large dose of confidence (having had the said documents checked out by the 2 secretariats), I went off to Abuja. 8am on that great Tuesday, I was by the NYSC Maitama office, only to be told that I’d have to wait till 10am.
No wahala….I waited, signed in…queued……only for me to be turned back for not having my BA Cert/Diploma. I reiterated to them that the website made provision for the use of a “Letter of Attestation” in lieu of the Diploma. I was then told that the requirements had been changed, less than a week to my coming to Abuja. I was 10 feelings shy of depression. I was angry, upset……mad….every name in the book. Who changes requirements in the MIDDLE of registration?!!! I kept wondering why they could not have waited for the current registration to end before altering the requirements. So inadvertently, they made me waste my time and money heading to that place, even after I had tried to tighten all loose ends on my part. Perhaps catching a glimpse of that fine fine fine ex-governor. Donald Duke, at the airport, was supposed to make it worth my while……..SNORT
Take 2: Grandma’s Burial
About a week after I came home in July, my paternal Grandma died. Frankly, I was emotionless. She was 84 years old, give or take, so all I thought of was “Oku Amala”. As far as I was concerned, there was no reason for tears and as a result, I made plenty fun of my dad when I heard that he cried.
Fast forward to the burial day: It all started with my bro (who was driving) and I finding ourselves behind the hearse. Those stupid pall bearers and their stupid heart-tugging songs (sniff). Hearing all those farewell songs had my tear ducts prepping themselves, but I still sat there tryna feel gangsta with myself. They set her up outside the church for a short Lying-in-State. They opened her up and that was it! She was by no definition a fair-skinned person in her life, but deng! The person I saw in that coffin was BLACK! and FRAIL and VULNERABLE-LOOKING and very much “UNLIFE-LIKE”. While the type of embalmment used might have contributed especially to the “unlife-like look”, I couldn’t help tying it back to nature. He did say from dust we come and to dust we shall return. The picture I got that day was so literal and lent credence to that assertion. Grandma really looked like clay…… she really did (sniff).
From that experience, I can readily advice anyone who is trying to find an essence to this life to attend a funeral and attempt to see the corpse. It makes it much much much clearer….. This world is vanity and you will only be remembered by your deeds, both good and bad. No matter how much Mary Kay, MAC, Iman, Shiseido etc you invest in, in the end, it won’t even matter……at all. Ish!!!
The entertainment part was nice though. I was particularly excited for the “Oju Agbo” (specified dance). I personally handled Ma Petrillo’s plastic bag (for sprayed money :D). I was definitely on the winning team…:D
On another note, the hustle for party souvenirs is real yo!!! Whhatttt?!!! I lost count of how many times I said “Whoooosaaa” that day. People just kept stretching my patience. I don’t understand the need to have EVERY item of souvenir given. Not to mention those who had like 5 of each.
I have placed an embargo on my household after that experience. Maternal Grandma has to wait at least 5 years from now before she kicks the bucket. Siblings also have to wait for at least 4 years before they talk marriage, unless they have incorporated the money for the event planner. Yes, Ngor (Not Lady Ngo), my dear sister, it includes you! I am still dealing with my room smelling of burnt firewood.
I am in search of a marketable certificate course to embark on. It seems everyone and their dogs are going into Project Management around here. Kindly suggest other business related courses that you are aware of.
I miss regular blogging and regular blog-hopping…..this internet sucks major!
Shout out to my new followers. Can’t believe I gained followers even during my unannounced hiatus. Welcome here, you rock!
Oh, It was my birthday on the 4th, Ma Petrillo's on the 16th and the blogiversary on the 11th (iThink? See? I am losing it!). October sure is a special month.
* all images gotten from google